


Eighty-Eight Days

by lyndsie_l



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Grand Gestures, Letters, M/M, Mary is an awesome Mom, NOT love at first sight, No Smut, Rated M for language, Slow Build, Sort of slow, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Well - Freeform, soulmark, tatoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2015-09-10
Packaged: 2018-04-20 02:31:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4770236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyndsie_l/pseuds/lyndsie_l
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>When it was clear he wasn’t going to answer, Cas spoke softly, “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m not going to make a big deal of this or try and stop you from being you. Nothing has to change.”</em><br/><em>“What if I want it to be a big deal?” Dean asked insolently, horrified that his voice cracked just a bit, “I mean – fuck – Cas, you’re my soulmate! What if I want things to change?”</em><br/><em>Cas paused for a moment, watching Dean carefully before his shoulders slumped and he shook his head sadly, “No, I don’t think you do.”</em><br/><em>They stood awkwardly in the locker rooms before Cas finally said, “I’m going to go for my run now.”</em><br/><em>Dean watched him walk away, his heart stuttering at the sight of his soulmate leaving him and yelled out, “I’m going to prove you wrong, Cas! You’ll see!”</em><br/> </p><p>When Dean discovers that the nerdy Castiel has the same soulmark as he does, he vows to do whatever it takes to convince Cas to be his.<br/>After all, they were soulmates. So it was bound to be easy to get him on one date, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eighty-Eight Days

**Author's Note:**

> I actually wrote a one-shot! This is amazing! I never thought I could actually do it.
> 
> Of course...my one-shot is over 15,000 words...but that's beside the point. :) Please forgive me of any grammatical/formatting issues. I tried to catch everything, but 15K is a lot for reviewing in one sitting.
> 
> So, this is my take on the whole "Soulmate" thing. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Dean winked at the girl as she giggled, throwing her long blonde hair back flirtatiously and wiggling her fingers in what he suspected was supposed to be a coy wave, as he sauntered down the hallway.  


His eyes drew in on the heart within a cloud soulmark that rested inside her wrist on her left arm, forcing himself not to roll his eyes at her antics.  


He never understood why these girls (and sometimes guys) threw themselves at him, when it was obvious he wasn’t their soulmate.  


Don’t get him wrong, he wasn’t complaining! He loved sex just as much (if not more) than the next guy.  


If these girls (and the occasional guy) wanted their chance with him, who was he to deny them and himself a night of fun. It wasn’t like they were hurting anyone.  


Besides, everyone knew that he wouldn’t settle for anyone less than his soulmate.  


Every person is born with their soulmate mark already inked onto their skin. Some had it in obvious places: like their wrists or shoulders or necks. Others in not so obvious places: like their thigh or collarbone.  


Dean’s was on his back. Just like everyone else’s, it started off as a light, faded tattoo, lightly brushed onto his skin. As he grew, the mark grew with him. It turned darker, bolder, and took on different colors.  


Dean’s own mark was a black circle with a star stretching across the middle with bright red, yellow, and orange flames wrapped around the edges. That in it-self would have been cool, but the circle of fire had two large jet black wings shooting out from each side, each outlined in a deep blue.  


Starting right in the middle of his shoulder blades, the tattoo stretched out across his back and onto his shoulders, curling in front so it touched his abs.  


Dean loved his soulmark. It was bad-ass.  


Way more bad-ass than his little brother, Sammy’s, in any case. He had a rainbow-colored lollipop with moose antlers sticking out of it on his ankle.  


Dean waved off a few people who had tried calling his name and side stepped through a closing door in front of him, continuing down a now deserted hallway.  


It was the end of school on a Friday and most everyone was eager to leave and enjoy their freedom for the weekend.  


Sammy, on the other hand, had made plans to stay late. He’d joined the drama club earlier that year and had been cast in one of the supporting roles in the school’s play. Dean teased his younger brother mercilessly about how he was going to embarrass himself prancing around on stage, but secretly he was proud of his brother. He knew how hard he had practiced for his audition and was thrilled when he got a part.  


He knew his dad was working late tonight and his mom had a meeting with her book club down at that cozy little bookstore a couple blocks from their house, so he offered to stay late at the school while his little brother met with the other drama nerds and started their rehearsals.  


There weren't many sports going on at the moment, so Dean figured he could go spend some time in the gym, lifting weights, and there wouldn’t be anyone there to distract him.  


Although lifting wasn’t his favorite thing, it was much preferable to tagging along with Sam or worse, spending time in the library.  


He reached the locker room doors, opening them quietly and slipping inside, not wanting to distract any of the coaches who may still be left in their offices, planning out lessons or devising new strategies for upcoming seasons.  


Coaches could be ornery on a good day, but if you did something to piss them off…  


It was best just to be careful.  


He walked down the aisles, glancing down each empty row as he made his way towards the back to throw his backpack in one of the deserted lockers.  


He glanced down the second to last aisle and paused, his eyes raking down the figure of the guy standing there, appreciative of the sight he saw.  


Looking at his tousled black hair and crisp blue sweater, there was not a doubt in his mind who this boy was.  


Castiel Novak.  


Dean had known Cas for several years. Despite that, he didn’t think that they could be considered friends. Acquaintances, perhaps; but definitely not friends.  


For one thing, Cas and Dean couldn’t have been more opposites.  


Dean wore a leather jacket, listened to hard and classic rock, and occasionally smoked weed behind the bleachers. He slept around and drank at parties. He’d earned a reputation around the school as the resident “bad boy”, which drew people to him like moths to a flame.  


He never quite understood why. He had decent grades and had never gotten into any serious trouble. But one girl had decided his clothing made him a bad-boy, and the rumor took off.  


Cas, on the other hand, wore clean, crisp sweaters and nice pants, listened to classical, and had never smoked or drank in his life. He was rarely seen with anyone and had never attended a party for as long as 

Dean had known him. He had all straight “A”s and was in the running to be valedictorian for their school that year.  


Secretly, though, Dean had always been fond of Cas. He was a weird, dorky little guy, but he was smart. If you were really lucky, you’d get a chance to see a different side of the man, a side that was less quiet and reserved and a little more sassy-as-fuck.  


Dean always sought to do whatever he could to draw this side out of the shorter (albeit handsome) man.  


He opened his mouth to call out Castiel’s name just as Cas pulled off of his sweater and shirt, being careful to put it up on a hanger in his locker so it didn’t get wrinkled.  


Instead of the other man’s name, Dean let out a choked, coughing sound, his eyes glued to the sight before him.  


Sweet, little Cas had the exact same bad-ass soulmark as he did.  


It wasn’t rare to meet your soulmate at a young age. By the time Dean reached junior high, he knew three different couples who had found their soulmate in elementary school.  


Of course, at such a young age, the relationships were anything but sexual, but eventually every single one of them grew into a physical, as well as emotional and mental relationship.  


Dean had always been jealous of those who had met their soulmate at a young age.  


He wouldn’t have had to deal with all these crazy chicks trying to tame him and claim him as their own.  


With a soulmate, he could just be himself.  


At least, that’s what his mom had always told him, and he’d never known his mom to be wrong yet.  


At his gasp, Cas immediately turned around, grabbing a worn t-shirt and holding it up against his chest to cover his nakedness.  


They stared at each other, both completely frozen in time, before Cas seemed to come to his senses and pulled his shirt up over his head, covering his chest. He grabbed his running shoes from his locker, quickly slipping them onto his feet, not bothering to tie up the laces, before attempting to make a mad dash out of the locker room in an attempt to escape.  


Dean flung himself forward, his mind still reeling but his body eager enough to push itself into motion.  


“Cas, wait,” Dean said, reaching out to grab a hold of Cas’ arm and forced him to hold still, “Your soulmark…”  


“I know,” he said frustrated, glaring at Dean’s hand which was preventing him from leaving, “it’s unexpected. Will you let me go now?”  


“No,” Dean replied, stepping forward so he was closer to the other boy, “Cas, you don’t understand. I have the same mark.”  


Cas froze, his eyes still locked on Dean’s hand on his arm.  


“The exact same mark,” Dean said again, wanting to make it 100% clear, “with the star and the flames and the wings right in the middle of my back.”  


Cas stayed silent, his eyes leaving Dean’s hand to look up towards the gritty ceiling of the school locker rooms.  


“Cas,” Dean pleaded, feeling self-conscious and un-sure of what he should do in a situation like this, “Say something.”  


His soulmate finally looked down, locking his pretty blue eyes with Dean’s green ones, and he shot him an apologetic look, “I know.”  


Dean’s brain stalled.  


“Y-you know?” Dean stuttered out, "How?"  


Cas looked back at him unimpressed, "Girls talk, Dean. You can't expect to sleep with so many and not have them tell everyone they meet every single detail of the encounter. I've heard from a countless number of sources what your soulmark looks like and where it was located. It's not a common mark. It wasn't difficult to piece it together."  


Embarrassed and feeling chastised at the new revelation, Dean asked, “How long?”  


“A couple years now,” Cas shrugged, obviously trying to seem as though he were unconcerned and missing his mark by a mile.  


Anger bubbled in Dean’s chest, “And you didn’t think you should tell me?”  


“Why would I?” Cas challenged back, pulling his arm out of Dean’s grip and standing up straight, his eyes hardening further to longer the conversation went on.  


“Oh, I don’t know,” Dean said ostentatiously, “maybe because we’re fucking soulmates?!”  


“You made it very clear you weren’t looking for a soulmate, Dean,” Cas answered back angrily, “I thought it would be best if I just left you be. No need for you to have to feel guilty for not wanting me.”  


Dean’s jaw dropped, his mind reeling as he thought back through every interaction he’d ever had with Cas.  


“What the hell you talking about?” he asked for clarification.  


Cas explained, “Well, first of all, you told me you didn’t want to meet your soulmate.”  


“What?” Dean asked incredulously, his deep voice squeaking at the end, “When? I never said –,”  


“It was back when we shared that science class. You sat at the edge of my desk and told me you’d rather not know who your soulmate was, and would just prefer to, as you put it, ‘have fun’ instead,” Cas interrupted.  


Dean immediately groaned, covering his face in embarrassment.  


He remembered exactly what Cas was talking about. It was several years ago, when they’d first come to the high school. Dean had always been attracted to Castiel and had gotten the brilliant idea that he would proposition him for a night of kinky sex (or a week-end, Cas was hot enough that he would have been willing to break his 'only one night' rule). Cas had been shocked at the inquiry, and asked if Dean cared what his soulmate thought. Still thinking he could get in his pants, Dean had replied that he couldn't care less about his soulmate, that he preferred to live in the moment and have fun.  


He was incredibly disappointed when Cas turned him down, but it didn't take him long for him to get back up onto his feet.  


“I was fifteen,” Dean reminded Cas, cursing his younger self for only thinking with his dick, “I was horny and you were hot. I’d have said anything if I thought it’d get me a night with you.”  


“Romantic,” Cas rolled his eyes, still holding his defensive stance, “So, what’s your excuse for now? You still sleep around just as often as you did before.”  


Not having an answer for that, Dean asked, “Are you – are you saying that you weren’t going to tell me because I was too much of a slut to be with you?”  


Cas closed his eyes and took a deep breath, his posture relaxing just a bit, “Dean. No. That’s not what I’m saying. It’s your body, your life. If you want to sleep around, that’s your choice. I’m simply saying you’ve never done or said anything that would have implied to me otherwise. I was simply allowing you to continue to live the way you desired to.”  


Dean stared back at him, shock still vibrating through his veins.  


This was his soulmate.  


It wasn’t supposed to be like this.  


It was supposed to be easy.  


Right?  


When it was clear he wasn’t going to answer, Cas spoke softly, “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m not going to make a big deal of this or try and stop you from being you. Nothing has to change.”  


“What if I want it to be a big deal?” Dean asked insolently, horrified that his voice cracked just a bit, “I mean – fuck – Cas, you’re my soulmate! What if I want things to change?”  


Cas paused for a moment, watching Dean carefully before his shoulders slumped and he shook his head sadly, “No, I don’t think you do.”  


They stood awkwardly in the locker rooms before Cas finally said, “I’m going to go for my run now.”  


Dean watched him walk away, his heart stuttering at the sight of his soulmate leaving him and yelled out, “I’m going to prove you wrong, Cas! You’ll see!”  


Cas never turned back.  


\--  


Dean spent most of the week-end shut away in his room, making plans for what he was going to do to win over Cas.  


He'd gotten onto the computer straight away, ignoring Sam's mutterings at having been dragged away from his first post play rehearsal hang out earlier than he'd wanted to, and typed in grand gestures to prove I want him. After searching through several articles, he had what he thought was a pretty decent list.  


_1\. Give him tickets to a show or concert  
2\. Send him hoards of flowers  
3\. Go to his house in the middle of the night and read a romantic poem  
4\. Sing a song dedicated to him in front of everyone  
~~5\. Write it in the sky~~  
6\. Write it on all the screens at the school_  


Dean nodded his head as he reviewed the list. He'd win his soulmate over before the week was up.  


\----  


**_Day One_**  


Dean slapped on a smile as he swaggered over to the blue-eyed boy's locker, watching him as he dug through his books, trying to pick out the ones that he would need for the day.  


Dean side-stepped a hoard of giggling girls in favor of leaning up against the ghastly blue lockers, his arm up above his head, and smiled charmingly at Cas, waiting to be noticed.  


When it was clear that Cas wasn't going to look his direction or acknowledge his presence, Dean coughed slightly and spoke confidently, "Hey there, blue eyes."  


Cas looked up, momentarily startled as he stared at Dean. His features hardened as he glanced over at the giggling girls blatantly watching the scene before them.  


"Do you need something?" Cas asked, still glancing in between Dean and the girls, clearly unsure.  


Dean stepped forward, blocking Cas' line of sight from the group watching them and reached into his leather jacket, pulling out the two movie tickets he'd bought the day before.  


"So, I was thinking," he started, looking down at Cas appraisingly and shifting his body forward to put them closer together, "We should catch a movie tonight."  


"Why?" Cas asked flatly, his attention turning to focus completely on Dean.  


Taken aback, Dean sook his head in slight disbelief and answered, "So, we can get to know each other better."  


He lifted his arm up on the locker, leaning against the metal doors so his body was just a mere few inches away from Cas'. He could feel the other boy's heat radiating from his body and craved more.  


"I can pick you up in my car this evening and we can head out to the movies, spend some time together, just you, me..."  


He brushed his hand along Cas' arm as his voice trailed off suggestively.  


Cas scowled even further and said flatly, "I can't. I'm busy."  


"That's fine," Dean answered nonchalantly, "We can go tomorrow night."  


"I think you misunderstand me," Cas' voice growled, "When I say I'm busy, I'm saying that I have no openings in my schedule for the foreseeable future. So, thank you for the offer, but I'll pass."  


Cas slammed his locker door closed, brushing forcefully past Dean before he could respond.  


A brunette from the group of girls watching them called out, "I'm available this evening."  


Dean rolled his eyes, shoving the tickets back into his pockets and rushed past them.  


Cas didn't want to go on a date with him? That was fine. It was still early in the week. He was still confident he'd have Cas' mind changed by the end.  


\----  


**_Day Two_**  


Dean watched eagerly as Cas approached his locker the second day, waiting to see his response. He had gone all out today, gotten a dozen bouquets that he had arranged in a heart shape to place in front of Cas' locker.  


Cas stopped mid-step, his mouth gaping open, pushing himself to cautiously go forward.  


He picked up the note in the middle, his eyes staring at the page as he studied the signature that Dean had left so Cas would know who it was from.  


A couple of girls walked past, eyes widening as they looked at the flowers hungrily, and asked, "Oooh, who are these for?"  


Cas opened his mouth to reply, but caught Dean's eye instead as he stood down the hall.  


Dean winked at Cas, sending him a little wave and a cheeky smile.  


Cas' eyes narrowed and responded to the girl, his eyes never leaving Dean's, "No clue. You're more than welcome to have them if you'd like."  


Dean frowned, not liking Cas' challenging stare.  


Sure, the flowers were expensive, but if Cas wanted to give them away, who was he to say anything against it?  


After all, he had given the flowers to him. He could do whatever he wanted with them.  


As long as Cas knew who the flowers were from, that was all that mattered...right?  


\--  


Dean tried not to feel discouraged when he took the long way home that night, passing by a certain blue-eyed brunette's home and spotted countless dozens of flowers spilling over from the trash can.  


\----  


**_Day Three_**  


Dean blew in his hands, rubbing them together as he tried to warm them up, jumping in his spot a few times as he gave himself a pep talk.  


This one was going to work.  


He was sure of it.  


"You can do this, Winchester," Dean muttered to himself, picking up a small handful of pebbles he'd carefully picked earlier that day and threw them up to the window directly above his head, one at a time.  


He got through his handful of pebbles with no response.  


Not yet discouraged, Dean picked up another handful and continued his attempts.  


Several minutes passed by before a bleary-eyed boy stumbled to the window and threw it open, squinting through his big black glasses as he stared down below.  


"Winchester," he growled, "What the hell are you doing here?"  


"I wanted to see you," Dean answered back happily.  


"At 3 in the morning?" Cas hissed back.  


"I can't stop thinking about you, Cas," Dean admitted, reaching into his pocket to pull out the poem he'd prepared, "I want to be with you. I want to get to know you."  


Dean held up the white piece of paper, clearing his throat nervously before saying, "I, uh, I found this poem...and yeah..."  


Dean looked down, and read out loud, " _He walks in beauty, like the night of cloudless climes and endless skies..._ "  


Cas rubbed his temples, calling down below, "Go home, Winchester. I'm trying to sleep."  


Dean continued the poem, speaking a little louder this time, " _and all that's best of dark and bright meet in his aspect and his eyes..._ "  


He heard a window close, the latch clicking into place and stopped speaking as he looked up surprised.  


He yelled out, "I'm not leaving Cas! I'll stay here as long as it takes!"  


He plopped onto the ground, folding his arms petulantly, with a pout on his face, whispering to himself the rest of the words of the first stanza of his poem, " _this mellowed to that tender light which heaven to gaudy day denies._ "  


He waited out in the cold, shivering as he looked up at the window, waiting for Cas to come back, before finally giving up two hours later.  


\----  


_**Day Four**_  


Dean was tired.  


He'd stayed up half the night, and for what?  


A fat load of nothing.  


He cursed Lord Byron and his stupid poem that clearly wasn't romantic enough. He wished that he would have gone with E.E. Cummings or one of Shakespeare's sonnets instead.  


But, no matter.  


It was a new day, a new item on the list.  


It was time to pull out the big guns now. He knew he'd have to pull out all the stops if he wanted to win his soulmate over to his side.  


He stretched his neck, strumming each string on his guitar as he double-checked it was all in tune, breathing out nervously.  


It wasn't very often that Dean had the nerve to play his guitar in front of people.  


But, if anyone was worth doing it for, it was his soulmate.  


Dean opened the doors, stepping into the crowded lunchroom, his eyes scanning the tables as he searched for his intended audience.  


Bingo.  


He marched determinedly over towards Cas' table, where he was sitting with a small group of people, the rest of them nerds like he was.  


Without any preamble, Dean jumped up onto the table where Cas was sitting, nudging a couple of plates aside so he didn't step in anyone's food.  


"Can I have your attention?" he called out to the lunch room, eager when the room immediately quieted down.  


"I wanted to take this moment, to sing a song for my soulmate," he announced to the crowd.  


Several girls cooed and sighed in response.  


Dean looked down at Cas, who was staring up at him wide-eyed and mouth wide open.  


Dean winked, licking his lips, before playing a cord and belting out:  


" _I gotta take a little time  
a little time to think things over  
I better read between the lines  
In case I need it when I'm older,_ "  


His voice grew more confident with every chord and every word.  


" _Now this mountain I must climb  
Feels like a world upon my shoulders  
Through the clouds I see love shine  
It keeps me warm as life grows colder_  


" _In my life there's been heartache and pain  
I don't know if I can face it again  
Can't stop now, I've traveled so far  
To change this lonely life._ "  


Dean winked at Cas again, who's surprise had melted off of his face and was staring back up, his features completely devoid of emotion.  


No matter, Dean would get his swoon on the chorus.  


" _I wanna know what love is  
I want you to show me  
I wanna feel what love is  
I know you can show me_ ,"  


Dean turned to look away from Cas, walking along the table, thrilled when the rest of the lunchroom was clapping and singing along.  


Several girls had rushed forward, crowding the small little table Dean was standing on, waiting for him to look at them.  


" _I'm gonna take a little time  
A little time to look around me  
I've got nowhere left to hide  
It looks like love has finally found me_ ,"  


Dean winked at the crowd of girls, laughing when they screamed in response.  


Why hadn't he done this sooner? This was awesome!  


" _In my life there's been heartache and pain  
I don't know if I can face it again  
I can't stop now, I've traveled so far  
To change this lonely life_ ,"  


Dean spun on his heels, to turn back to Cas, surprised when he saw that Cas was completely surrounded by people, calling out Dean's name.  


" _I wanna know what love is  
I want you to show me,  
I wanna feel what love is_ ,"  


Dean accompanied this with a little thrust of his hips, smirking as the girls all screamed and cheered,  


" _I know you can show me.  
I wanna know what love is.  
I want you to show me.  
And I wanna feel_ ,"  


Dean spun back around, away from Cas' side, to try out the little thrust there, curious to see if it gave him the same response. Chills ran through his spine when he realized it did.  


" _I want to feel what love is,  
And I know, I know you can show me_ ,"  


Dean knew the end of the song was coming, so he put all his feeling into the words, belting it out.  


" _Let's talk about love  
I wanna know what love is, the love that you feel inside  
I want you to show me, and I'm feeling so much love  
I wanna feel what love is, no, you just cannot hide  
I know you can show me, yeah,_ "  


He turned back around ready to sing the rest of the words to Cas, faltering slightly when he realized he wasn't there.  


" _I wanna know what love is, let's talk about love,  
I want you to show me, I wanna feel it too_ ,"  


Dean's eyes raced wildly around the room. Cas was just here, where could he have gone? Why did he go? Didn't he hear in the beginning when Dean said he was doing all of this for him?  


" _I wanna feel what love is, I want to feel it too_ ,"  


Dean's eyes narrowed in on the far side of the lunch room, catching Castiel standing at the edge, watching Dean sadly.  


They stared into each other's eyes as Dean finished the song, Dean putting all his emotions into the last words:  


" _And I know and I know, I know you can show me  
Show me love is real, yeah  
I wanna know what love is..._ "  


Cas shook his head subtly, before turning around and walking out of the room.  


Even the deafening cheers and nearly unanimous chants of his name couldn't tear Dean's eyes away from the vacant spot where Cas had stood just moments before.  


\----  


**_Day Five_**  


Dean stared down at his crumpled list, trying to figure out where he had gone wrong.  


He had thought, been so sure, that by the fifth day, he'd have Cas by his side.  


Why weren't his grand gestures working?  


In his last attempt, he'd gone to Ash and commissioned the computer genius' help, telling him that it was a matter of winning over his soulmate.  


Though, he hadn't needed to. As soon as the word hacking left his mouth, Ash was 100% in.  


Dean sat in his chair, shifting nervously through out his first period, as he waited for the hacked message to appear on the screens.  


Sure enough, right on time, the screen flickered on in their classroom, playing the song he sang the day before over the speakers as the message on the screen blinked brightly:  


" _Castiel. I wanna know what love is. Meet me at the flagpole in front of the school so you can show me. Dean._ "  


As soon as he saw the message, Dean leapt out of his chair, ignoring the teacher's protests, and raced down the hall, making his way towards his intended meeting destination.  


Dean stood nervously, ignoring the groups of people that had abandoned their classes in favor of watching him, keeping an eye out for Castiel.  


Five minutes passed. Then ten.  


Dean wrung his hangs together nervously.  


What if he didn't show up?  


He sighed in relief when the crowd parted and a scowling Castiel was pushed through.  


Dean stepped forward, take a deep breath before beginning his speech.  


"Castiel, from the first moment that I met you..."  


"Stop."  


Dean's mouth closed immediately and his eyes widened as he watch the fury come off in streams from Cas' body.  


"Please, just...stop," Cas repeated again earnestly.  


Dean stood frozen, unsure what he was supposed to do at this point.  


Cas rubbed his eyes and asked tiredly, "Just...tell me what you want from me."  


"One date," Dean answered back immediately.  


"No," Cas replied just as quickly, turning to leave.  


Dean grabbed his arm, pulling him back around, "Cas, please. That's all I'm asking, just one date. That's it."  


"I said no," Cas growled.  


Dean ignored him and continued, "I promise I'll be the perfect gentleman and I'll take you to dinner and we can just talk and get to know each other better and..."  


"Stop. Dean, please, I've already said no. Just let me..."  


"Why?" Dean asked, unable to keep the desperation from creeping into his voice, "Why not? Just give me a chance, Cas! Why won't you..."  


"Because I don't want to be another notch on your post!" Cas yelled out, stopping Dean in his tracks, "If I'm going to go on a date with someone, it's going to be someone who actually gives a shit about me."  


"Cas," Dean breathed out pleadingly, "Cas, please. You gotta believe me, it was never like that..."  


"You can keep your flowers, and your poems and songs, and every other damn thing you've thought up in that head of yours! My love life is not something for you to parade around the halls."  


Dean's heart stuttered, "Cas, I'm sorry...I..."  


Cas sighed, "Just, stop. Please."  


Dean nodded, too shocked to do or say anything else, and watched as Cas turned around, pushing his way back through the crowd.  


Several voices called out his name, but Dean ignored the crowd, letting his feet take his numb body home.  


\--  


Dean walked through the door of his house, falling down onto the couch in his living room.  


He wasn't sure if he was more embarrassed that he was rejected or that it was in front of everyone.  


Stupid Gestures.  


Stupid soulmarks.  


Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.  


"Dean?"  


Dean looked up, groaning when he spotted his mom, standing in the doorway, her eyes soft and worried.  


"Are you okay? Are you sick? Why aren't you at school?" she asked, rushing over the sit on the coffee table as she reached over to feel his forehead.  


Dean swatted her hand away, mumbling, "leave me alone," before trying to burry his face further into the couch, wondering if it would just swallow him whole.  


He yelped when he felt his mom's hand swat the back of his head.  


"You will not speak to me in that tone," she scolded, before her features went softer and she brushed her fingers through Dean's short hair.  


"Now, come to the kitchen. I'll make us up some grilled cheese and tomato rice soup and you can tell me what's troubling you."  


Dean grumbled, "Don't want to."  


His mom answered back sweetly, "You don't have a choice, dear. Now, c'mon."  


Dean begrudgingly pushed himself off of the couch and trailed behind his mom to the kitchen.  


It wasn't long before his entire story was laid out in front of her.  


"...so, after he told me no, he turned around and left me there. I couldn't stand the thought of staying at the school after that, so I came home."  


Dean cast his eyes down at his bowl, slurping up a spoonful of his mom's homemade soup.  


He closed his eyes and hummed, letting the warmth fill his body, disappointed when it left just a moment later.  


"What's wrong with me, mom?" he asked sadly, in a soft timid voice, "What's so wrong with me that not even my soulmate wants me?"  


"Oh, honey," his mom said, abandoning her seat from across the table and wrapping her oldest son into her arms.  


"There's nothing wrong with you," she assured him, "Nothing. I promise you, you are perfect the way you are."  


"Then why won't Cas give me a chance?" Dean whined, uncaring how pitiful he surely sounded, "I did everything I could to make him like me."  


Dean sat up straighter, his eyes determined, "I guess I'll just have to try harder, think bigger..."  


"Dean," his mom said softly, "I really don't think that's the right direction to go."  


"But, mom," Dean answered, "I can't give up now."  


"Why not?" she asked.  


Dean sputtered, "Because he's my soulmate?!"  


His mom brushed her fingers through his hair, taking a moment's pause before saying, "What do you actually know about this boy? Do you know anything about him other than his identical tattoo?"  


Dean shrugged, not entirely sure where she was going with this, "I know a couple of things, yeah."  


"Tell me," she requested, settling back down into the seat next to Dean, holding his hand in hers comfortingly, "Tell me about this boy."  


Dean chewed on his lip for a moment, before he blurted out, "He's hot as hell."  


His mom nodded, "What does he look like?"  


"He's got this messy black hair, that just kinda sticks straight up everywhere. I don't know if he just wakes up like that or if he styles it or what, but it looks so soft and I just want to run my fingers through it. And his eyes are unearthly blue. He usually wears contacts, but sometimes he's got these big black framed glasses, and I swear they magnify his eyes even more when he wears them. He's got tan skin and is a couple of inches shorter than me. Wears these clean looking sweaters and slacks most days. I mean, he looks like a total nerd, but in a kind of respectable way, you know?" Dean rambled, staring down at his hands as he spoke.  


"What else?" his mom pressed on.  


"Well," Dean answered thoughtfully, "He's got this tight runner's body..."  


"No," his mom interrupted him sadly, "I meant what else do you know about him?"  


"He's super smart. Like, Sammy smart. Most likely going to be our class valedictorian."  


"That's impressive," she said, her eyes narrowing slightly when Dean put Sam's intelligence above his own. She moved on, knowing which battles she needed to pick and which ones she should let slide (for now) and asked, "Is he planning on going to college?"  


Dean shrugged, "No clue. But, a smart guy like that, he's got to have prospects lines out the door for him."  


"He very well may," his mom answered.  


Without needing to be prompted, Dean continued, "He likes running. He's on the school track team and I see him out on the track field running every single day, no matter what the weather is. And he likes reading. His backpack always seems to be overflowing with books."  


"And?" his mom encouraged when Dean stopped speaking.  


"And what?" he asked dumbly.  


"What else?" she prompted.  


Dean shrugged, "that's pretty much it."  


His mom frowned, humming to herself as she thought for a moment.  


"It sounds to me," she spoke slowly, as she thought through her words carefully, "Like you two may not really know each other very well. Maybe if you sat down, got to know each other better..."  


"He won't let me!" Dean exclaimed frustrated, "I tried asking him on a date, but he said no!"  


"It doesn't have to be a date," his mom said, "you can just sit with him during lunch or offer him a ride home."  


"He stays really late because of track practice and sits with a bunch of other nerds at lunch who I don't think really like me," Dean dismissed the ideas, resting his head in the palm of his hand.  


"I don't see why any of this matters, anyway. We're soulmates. Shouldn't that be enough?"  


His mom frowned, "There's a lot more to it than just being soulmates. There's a choice in the matter as well.You need to take the time to get to know each other, and make sure that you're both willing to put in the effort to make it work."  


"But, I thought soulmates were the people that you're destined to be with. Shouldn't it just automatically work."  


His mom shook her head sadly, "Your father and I are soulmates. Have you ever seen us fight?"  


"Yes," Dean replied back immediately, having just heard his parents arguing the night before.  


"Just because you're the best fit for each other, doesn't mean that it'll automatically be easy. It just means when you're both willing to listen to each other and put in the effort, you'll experience a greater love for the other person than you ever thought was possible."  


Dean clicked his teeth together as he thought about what his mom was saying.  


"Okay," he said, his mind still racing as his mom's words churned through his mind, "Okay. What do I do then?"  


"Well," his mom said, "Since you're determined that there's not a time when you can meet with him in person, I suggest you write him a letter."  


Dean scrunched his nose, "A letter?"  


"Yes," his mom confirmed.  


Dean groaned, slumping back into his seat dramatically, "I hate writing."  


"I told you, you need to be willing to put in the effort..."  


"I've already put in a TON of effort this whole week!" Dean exclaimed.  


His mom continued pointedly, "And you also need to listen. Let's go over all that effort you put in this week and figure out what Cas was trying to say to you. What was the first thing you did?"  


"Tried to give him movie tickets to take him on a date."  


"And how did he respond?"  


Dean pouted, "He said no."  


"What did you do next?" His mom asked, not dwelling on Dean's sour mood.  


"I gave him flowers."  


"And?" his mom prompted.  


"He gave them to other girls and threw away the ones at his house."  


"After that?"  


"I went to read him a poem while he was at his bedroom window in the middle of the night."  


"Which we'll discuss later," his mom spoke sharply, clearly not liking that Dean had snuck out in the middle of the time.  


Fortunately for him, she moved on, "And what did he think of the poem?"  


"He told me to go home, and not to bug him when he was sleeping."  


"And yesterday?" his mom asked.  


"Yesterday I sang him a song in the lunchroom during lunch."  


"Which song?"  


"I Want to Know What Love Is," Dean said, "I even played my guitar and everything. Dedicated the song to him at the beginning."  


"How did he like the show?" his mom asked innocently.  


Dean glared, "He left the room."  


"And today?"  


"Mom," Dean whined, rubbing his face in discouragement.  


"C'mon Dean, remind me what you did today," his mom encouraged kindly.  


Dean spoke flatly, trying to keep the emotions from his voice, "I had Ash hack into the systems so I could play the song and show the message on every TV in the school telling Cas that I wanted to be with him and to meet me at the flagpole."  


"And what did he say?" his mom asked.  


"He completely humiliated me!" Dean answered angrily.  


"No, Dean," his mom spoke sharply, "I know you're upset. But, this is important. Were you listening? What did he say to you?"  


Dean frowned, but closed his eyes and thought back hard to earlier when he was at the school.  


Was that really just a few hours before? It seemed like forever ago.  


"He told me to stop," he answered, in that same flat tone, "said that he wasn't going to be another..."  


Dean hesitated, taking a deep breath before he forced out, "another notch in my bedpost. He said he wants someone who gives a shit about him and that he doesn't want his love life paraded around the school."  


"Well then," his mom said softly, "I think there's your answer."  


"But, mom, I do care about Cas! I know I don't know him very well, but he's not just another random person, he's the only one I want to be with!"  


"I know, honey," his mom spoke soothingly, "I do. Because I know you and I know how you show your care and affection for others. But Cas doesn't know you that well. So for him, he thought you were just doing this for the attention. That you didn't care about him specifically."  


"But I _do_ care - "  


"I know," his mom interrupted, "I know you care about him. Which is why you need to listen. Stop trying to give him these big, grand gestures."  


Dean paused, thinking everything through.  


Of course, how could he have been so stupid?  


Cas never was one who wanted the attention of others.  


Why had he thought his big show of declaration would have done anything?  


"It always worked in the movies," Dean grumbled bitterly.  


His mom laughed, "I know, sweetie. But, unfortunately, life isn't like the movies."  


Dean sighed dramatically, "Okay. So, a letter?"  


His mom nodded, "Mm hmm."  


"What would I even say in the letter?" he asked exasperatedly, already feeling overwhelmed at trying to figure out the right words to put on the page.  


"Well, first, you'll apologize to the poor boy for dragging him through all that when he clearly didn't want to," his mom scolded.  


"Yes ma'am," Dean answered, his head bowed slightly to show respect.  


Satisfied, his mom continued, "Then I want you to tell him something you like about him."  


Dean immediately thought about his gorgeous hair and eyes and thin frame he just wanted to press tight against...  


"Something other than his looks," his mom scolded, sending a pointed look at Dean who looked back with a guilty look on his face.  


"It doesn't have to be a long letter," she said, "and you shouldn't leave excuses or justifications for why you acted the way you did. What's done is done and in the past. It's time to look towards your future."  


Dean nodded, biting his lip, feeling nervous already as he tried to brainstorm what he'd write.  


"Okay," he nodded, feeling more determined as time passed, "Okay, I can do it."  


"I have no doubt in my mind you can," his mom answered warmly, kissing Dean on the top of his head and giving him a blank piece of paper and pen to start writing.  


\----  


**_Day Nine_**  


Dean sat his car, re-reading the words he had written over the week-end again, just to make sure they sounded okay.  


He was supposed to have given Cas the note yesterday, but he chickened out last minute.  


Sam teased Dean (like little brothers are wont to do) and his mom scolded him for not doing it, telling him he needed to get his butt in gear ASAP if he wanted to fix this.  


He looked back down at the note, promising himself this was going to be the last time he read it.  


_Dear Cas,_  


_I wanted to apologize for last week. You had told me several times that you didn't want any of that, and I didn't listen. ~~I just thought~~ I'm sorry I put you through that. ~~Please forgiv~~_  


_I just thought you should know I really admire you. I think that you're extremely intelligent, ~~much too smart for me~~. You did a presentation in chem last semester and sang a song on how to remember the elements in the periodical table better. You saved my butt during that final. My lab ~~parter~~ partner wouldn't stop glaring at me because I kept humming the song during the whole exam._  


_I hope that you have a much better week than the week before._  


_Dean_  


Reminding himself that his mom approved the letter, Dean folded it back and stepped out of his car, walking with a single purpose to Cas' locker. His heart pounded in anticipation and he sighed in relief when he approached and Cas wasn't there.  


He'd talked himself up to giving Cas the letter, he just didn't think he could actually do it in person.  


Dean slipped the note through the narrow slits of his locker door before he could talk himself out of it.  


He immediately turned and walked away, feeling a mixture of relief, excitement, and dread.  


Well, as his mom says, what's done is done and in the past. No point in dwelling on it now.  


\--  


As soon as he got home from school he raced to his parent's bedroom, looking for him mom.  


"I did it!" he exclaimed, bursting into the room.  


His mom smiled brightly as she folded the dark green towel she had in her hand.  


"That's wonderful!" she praised, "Now you can start working on the next one."  


Dean's expression faltered, "The next what?"  


"The next letter," his mom clarified, a permanent smile on her face.  


"I have to write another one?" Dean groaned, flopping onto the pile of laundry heaped on his parent's bed.  


His mom swatted his side, pushing him off the clothes and thrusting a maroon towel into his hands, prompting him to help her fold.  


"Of course. What, you thought just one would suffice?"  


"Well, yeah!" Dean answered back, flustered.  


His mom scoffed, reaching for one of his dad's work shirt and folding it neatly, placing it in a pile off to the side.  


"Nonsense. If you want to put in the effort, then you need to be willing to go all the way. Letters are unobtrusive and can help you to connect, to help each of you get to know each other better."  


"How can I get to know him when I'm the only one writing?" Dean huffed, grabbing a hand towel for the kitchen petulantly.  


"I think you'll be surprised at what you find," his mom said slyly.  


Dean folded the laundry in silence with his mom for several moments as he thought.  


"What would I write?" he asked, "In the next letter?"  


"You should write something else about him that you admire. Something else that you like about him. 

And you can tell him stories about yourself. Help him to get to know you a little better. Tell him what your goals are. Your dreams, aspirations. Which bands you like or movies you want to go see. Always finish with telling him that you hope that he has a good day."  


Dean nodded, "Okay, I can do that. How many letters do I have to write?"  


His mom thought for a moment, "At least three..."  


Dean sighed in relief. Only three? He could do that.  


Hell, he already had one under his belt. Just two more to go...  


"...a week," his mom finished.  


Dean's brain screeched to a halt.  


"Three a week?" he exclaimed.  


"How am I supposed to do that? And I have to write something in there that I like about him in every single one?"  


His mom nodded, "Every. Single. One."  


"I don't know that many things about him!" He challenged, having no clue how he was going to accomplish this.  


"Then I guess you should learn."  


"Bu-but, how?" Dean stuttered.  


His mom shrugged, grabbing the pile of towels to take down the hall to the linen closet, kissing Dean's head as she passed, "You're a smart boy. I'm sure you'll figure it out."  


Dean grumbled as he trudged to his bedroom, tearing a piece of paper out of a random notebook and grabbing the closest pen on his desk he could see.  


If this is what it took to win over his soulmate, then so be it.  


\----  


**_Day Eleven_**  


_Dear Cas,_  


_I admire your dedication to running. I always see you out on that track, rain or shine. ~~I'm not sure if you're crazy or~~ You must really love what you do._  


_I don't think that I'm quite that dedicated to anything. Maybe to my baby. That's my car. My dad bought her years ago and gave her to me for my eighteenth birthday last month._  


_Anyway, I hope that you have a good run today and that your day goes well._  


_Dean_  


\----  


_**Day Twelve** _

  


_Dear Cas,_  


_You're always carrying around a hoard of books. How does you back not hurt constantly? I know they can't all be for school. You must really enjoying reading._  


_~~Sammy~~ My little brother, Sam reads more than anyone I know. He says he loves to learn and escape to new realities. You always have a smile on your face whenever you have a book in front of you, so you must feel a similar way to him. I wonder if you have a favorite book..._  


_I'm a Vonnegut man myself. My mom introduced me a few years back and I couldn't get enough of them. If you haven't read any yet, I would highly recommend it!_  


_I hope that you have a chance to just sit and read and relax over the weekend._  


_Dean_  


\----  


**_Day Fifteen_**  


_Dear Cas,_  


_You have a beautiful smile. ~~I'm not trying to say that to get into your pants or anything, I just thought you should know that your smile is radiating and makes me feel brighter and warmer than the sun ever could.~~_  


_I'm always glad to see you happy._  


_I hope your day is a good one._  


_Dean_  


Dean slipped the letter into Cas' locker, and turned to walk away when a pretty blonde leaned against the lockers, blocking his way with her body that was pressed up tightly against his side.  


Dean blinked a couple of times, but didn't speak, waiting to see what this girl wanted.  


"Hey Dean," the girl spoke in what he was sure she thought was a flirtatious way, but in actuality kind of grated on him, "Got any plans this weekend? I thought we could get together. You could take me in the back of that big black car of yours up to Chestnut Hill."  


She placed her hand on Dean's chest, slowly gliding her fingers down.  


Dean frowned at the contact, feeling uncomfortable with the suggestion as well.  


He knew it was slightly hypocritical, hell just a month ago he would have been all over that, but now that he knew who his soulmate was, he wanted no part of it.  


He wasn't even that he was worried he would be offending Cas. He genuinely just wanted to be better. He'd always told himself that as soon as he met his soulmate, he'd become monogamous. Just because his soulmate didn't want him, didn't mean he was going back on his personal promise.  


Dean gently lifted the girl's hand off of his chest, pushing her back slightly so he could step out of her embrace.  


"No thank you," Dean answered her politely, taking a step to walk off.  


The girl (who's name he couldn't remember for the life of him) huffed, "What, you already got another hot date? Cause I promise you, she won't treat you nearly as good as I can."  


Dean suppressed the urge to roll his eyes.  


"Nope. Just not interested."  


The girl let out a frustrated sigh behind him as he turned to walk down the hall.  


He didn't see Cas standing off to the side, watching the whole exchange with a curious frown.  


\----  


_**Day Sixteen**_  


_Dear Cas,_  


_I heard you got into Harvard! ~~I wasn't eavesdopping or anything, I just over heard when I was passing by your lunch table.~~_  


_Congratulations! ~~That's really far away man.~~_  


_You're going to do great. You deserve the best of the best._  


_I hope your acceptance letter made your day that much better._  


_Dean_  


\----  


**_Day Seventeen_**  


_Dear Cas,_  
_I hope you don't mind, but I left an umbrella for you. It's raining outside and I noticed you didn't have one._  


_I'm sure you'll be out in it later, running on the track. That's dedication man._  


_Anyway, I thought you might like it._  


_I hope the rain doesn't put you down._  


_Dean_  


\--  


Dean glanced through his notebook, trying to remember which assignments he had that night so he could leave some books in his locker, when he felt someone tap him on the shoulder.  


He turned around, his mouth dropping slightly as he saw Cas standing there, a deep scowl on his face, Dean's umbrella clutched tightly in his right hand.  


"Hey, Cas," Dean spoke slowly, not wanting to aggravate the clearly irritated man any further, "What..."  


"What's your game here?" Cas asked through narrow eyes, his knuckles turning whiter with every word.  


"My-my what?" Dean asked, startled.  


"Your game," Cas repeated, "Leaving your silly little notes and now this. What's your angle? Do you think that you can woo me into your bed with your words?"  


Dean's eyes widened further, "What? No! Cas, it's not like that, I promise!"  


"Then what is it like?" Cas growled, "Cause I'm trying to figure you out, and I honestly can't. There's no one to see you show off, so why bother writing the notes?"  


Dean stuttered, "I j-just, I th-thought..."  


"You thought what?" Cas demanded.  


Dean gulped nervously.  


He tried to figure out what he could say that would diffuse the tension the best.  


Thinking back to his mom's wise words (although, she was the one who told him to write the stupid letters in the first place...) he took a deep breath.  


_Listen_.  


"It doesn't matter what I thought," Dean said dejectedly, "I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to bug you with my notes. I just wanted to...it was stupid. I'm...I just...I'm sorry."  


Cas stared at him, his face going blank as he blinked several times.  


He surprised Dean by thrusting the umbrella into his hands and spat out, "Well, I don't need your charity, or whatever the hell else this is."  


He turned to storm away, calling out behind him, "And I love the rain. So your umbrella is useless to me."  


Dean watched Cas as he marched away, holding the umbrella loosely in his hands, feeling as though his heart were breaking all over again.  


\--  


"What do I do, mom?" Dean whined, sitting on the front porch steps with her as they watched the rain fall. They were lucky the freezing rain hadn't turned into snow during this cold February month.  


His mom had her arm around her son's shoulders, his head resting on her.  


She sighed, "You stop writing the notes."  


"Okay," Dean readily accepted. Sure, the more notes he wrote, the easier it became, but it wasn't like he was thrilled about the notes in the first place. If Cas didn't like the notes, he had no problem stopping them.  


"And then what? What's my next step?"  


He looked up when his mom didn't respond right away. She was looking down at him with sad eyes.  


"You need to let go."  


Dean blinked, "What?"  


"Sweetie," his mom said kindly, brushing her fingers through his hair, "It sounds like Cas needs some space from you. He's probably just as confused and scared as you are about this whole soulmate thing. If everything you've done has been stressing him out, then you need to back away."  


"Okay," Dean said slowly, "For how long?"  


"As long as he wants you to stay away."  


"But," Dean shivered in the cold, and gulped before continuing, "But what if, what if he never..."  


"Then that's his choice," his mom replied sadly, "And if that time comes, then you'll have to respect his decision."  


"But I just...I just want to be good for him," Dean said in a small voice.  


His mom pulled him closer, wrapping her arms tight around his body and kissed his temple.  


"I know, sweetie, and you are. But right now, he needs you to be good for him at a distance. Can you do that?"  


Dean stayed silent.  


Could he do that? Could he separate himself from his soulmate? If Cas chose to leave him behind, could he let him go?  


"How do I get through this?" he asked, not knowing the answers to his own questions.  


"You take it one day at a time."  


Dean nodded, accepting his mom's answer.  


He could do this.  


Just one day at a time.  


\----  


**_Day Eighteen_**  


Dean listened to Benny's southern drawl explain his plans for Spring Break to go back to the Bayou for some real good Cajun cooking.  


He would normally be talking with Benny excitedly about these plans, hopeful that Benny would find some new good recipes to try out (with him being the tester of course), but today he just wasn't feeling it.  


He felt as though he had a gaping hole in his heart.  


How could he live like this?  


He took a deep breath, reminding himself of his mom's words.  


One day at a time.  


He glanced longingly at Cas' locker as they passed by before trying to focus his attention of Benny's hopes for finding a good gumbo.  


\----  


**_Day Twenty-Four_**  


Dean pushed around his mashed potatoes on his school lunch tray, a permanent frown on his face.  


His friends had noticed his depression and had been trying to set him up with different girls to 'help cheer him up a bit'. Benny had even suggested a couple of boys to the mix, thinking perhaps Dean was simply getting tired of boobs and needed something sturdier.  


Dean brushed them all off, giving them a forceful no.  


He didn't want some random hook-ups.  


Now that he knew who his soulmate was, there wasn't a single other person in the universe he'd prefer to be with.  


And if that meant he had to be abstinent for the rest of his life, then so be it.  


\----  


**_Day Twenty-Six_**  


Dean's breath caught as his green eyes narrowed in on Cas' blue ones.  


It felt as though time had stopped in that busy high school hallway, as though they were the only two people in the world.  


Dean shook his head, and forced himself to turn his body away, not allowing himself to indulge in the sight of Cas any longer.  


Cas wasn't interested, he needed space.  


He missed Cas' frown as he pushed through the crowd to get away.  


\----  


**_Day Twenty-Nine_**  


Dean stared at the light blue paper in his hand, his brow furrowed in confusion.  


When he had opened up his locker that morning, the last thing he expected was for a blue paper to flutter out onto the ground.  


He had immediately picked it up, and stared at the piece, not quite sure what he was supposed to do.  


He cautiously opened it up, and read the words inside.  


**Dear Dean,**  


**I wanted to apologize for my rude words a couple of weeks ago. I should not have accused you of having an ulterior motive, as it is clear to me now that you were simply trying to offer your help when you left me your umbrella.**  


**Needless to say, I had had a bad day and I took my anger out on you. This was not fair to you, and I truly am sorry.**  


**I've noticed that you've looked quite down lately and I hope that you have better days in the future.**  


**Castiel**  


Dean started at the letter in shock, re-reading through it a half a dozen times before he accepted that it was actually from Cas.  


_His_ Cas.  


Holy shit.  


Dean had a hard time focusing the rest of the day, trying to figure out what this meant for him.  


Not wanting to come to any conclusions it give himself false hope, he grabbed Sam as soon as school was out and raced home as quick as he could.  


At soon as he bolted through the door, he found his mom at the kitchen table on her computer going through their monthly bills and thrust the note into her hand  


His mouth read through the note, her lips moving as she read through it. When she got to the end, she turned to Dean with a warm smile on her face.  


"This is great, Dean," she assured him.  


"Now what do I do?" he asked her nervously, wringing his hands together, "Do I stay away? Should I try and talk to him?"  


His mom hummed, "Well, what do you think you should do?"  


"I think I should write him another note," Dean answered immediately, having thought of nothing else the entire day.  


"And why is that?" his mom asked, a sweet smile gracing her lips.  


"Because it's unobtrusive, like you said. He responded in a letter to me, so that should mean that I'm not over stepping my boundaries, right?"  


His mom nodded, "I think you may be right."  


Dean sighed in relief, grateful that he had the best mom in the world.  


"If I may give one suggestion though," his mom said, raising an eyebrow as Dean focused his attention on her, "It would be to give Castiel the choice in your letter. Give him the option to tell you no. Then, if he does, you have your answer and there's no guesswork."  


"I can do that," Dean agreed, jumping up to grab a piece of paper and start working on his next note.  


\----  


**_Day Thirty_**  


_Dear Cas,_  


_Thank you for your letter. I have been a bit down lately, but you don't need to worry about me. Anytime you have a bad day, you can take it out on me. I'm sorry for your bad day. I hope that your days are getting better. ~~Let me know if I can help~~_  


_I hope you don't mind I'm writing you back. If you would prefer me not to, let me know and I'll stop._  


_I hope your day goes well._  


_Dean_  


\----  


**_Day Thirty-One_**  


_Dear Cas,_  


_Since I haven't heard a response from you, I'm going to continue writing you my letters. I'm not doing this to try and bug you. I just ~~want~~ thought that ~~this would be a good way to get to know eac~~ maybe I could do something to brighten your day the way your brighten mine._  


_You really don't know how glad I am to see you smiling in the morning._  


_~~Even though your smiles are never directed at me.~~_  


_I hope you have a bright day._  


_Dean_  


\----  


_**Day Thirty-Two**_  


_Dear Cas,_  


_Are you ready for the Physics Exam? I'm taking the test during my 3rd hour, and I am not looking forward to it. Professor Adler is such a ~~hard-ass~~ stickler for the rules and already hates me. Hopefully I can scrape by with a decent enough grade._  


_I'm sure you'll have no problems with it. You're ~~the smartest person I kno~~ always in the library studying. You probably know this material like the back of your hand!_  


_Anyway, good luck not that you need it on the test! I hope the rest of your day goes well._  


\--  


_**Day Thirty-Three**_  


Dean's eyes widened as he looked at the unoffending blue slip of paper lying nicely on top of his books in his locker.  


Was this from -?  


Did he really -?  


Dean quickly grabbed the paper, taking extra care to make sure he unfolded it nicely.  


**Dear Dean,**  


**Normally I do not like to speak ill about a teacher, but he is rather intense for what he does. I don't think you're the only one who feels as though he hates them.**  


**I'm sure you have nothing to worry about in regards to the test, though. We both know you were always better than me at any of the sciences.**  


**Have a great week-end.**  


**Castiel**  


Dean smiled at the letter, feeling his face blush slightly at the compliment.  


Damn.  


Maybe his mom was right.  


Still not wanting to get his hopes up too much, he folded the note again and slipped it into his government textbook (where he hoped it would be safe) and already started thinking about what he would say in his next letter.  


\----  


_**Day Thirty-Six**_  


_Dear Cas,_  


_Did you do anything fun over the week-end? My mom decided that we're far enough into March that we should start our spring cleaning. I'm hoping to get all the cleaning done through-out the week so I don't end up spending my spring break surrounded by Clorox and Comet._  


_Then again, cleaning is preferable to gardening, which is the other thing my mom wants me to do._  


_I tried telling her that I ~~hurt everything I touch~~ much prefer to cook, but she seems convinced that I should help her anyway._  


_Oh well. There's no arguing with my mom, that's for sure. She'll kick my ~~ass~~ butt if I get too far outta line._  


_Anyway, hope your weekend was good and that your week is better._  
_Dean_  


\----  


**_Day Thirty-Seven_**  


**Dear Dean,**  


**I'm actually rather fond of gardening. There's something serene about being out with nature and watching something that you planted with your own hands grow and take life.**  


**I wasn't aware that you cooked. Do you do it often?**  


**Have a pleasant day.**  


**Castiel**  


Dean smiled goofily as he read Cas' next note, not even caring that he probably looked like a doofus.  


He didn't think he would ever grow tired of the warm feeling he felt when he saw that Cas had written back.  


\--  


**_Day Thirty-Eight_**  


_Dear Cas,_  


_I cook pretty often, yeah. I'm nowhere near as good as Benny (his Cajun is ~~orgasm-inducing~~ really good), but I do make a pretty mean burger, if I do say so myself._  


_My mom is the best though. Her pies have won awards, man! ~~You should come over somet ~~~~~~_  


_~~there~~ they're really good._  


_I hope you have a great day!_  


_Dean_  


\----  


**_Day Thirty-Nine_**  


_Dear Cas,_  


_I mentioned my likely spring break plans, and forgot to ask you what yours were. Doing anything special?_  


_I can't wait for the break. Adler and Milton are driving me crazy. I think they need a break from us as much as we need it from them. ~~Although, I honestly don't know why they even bothered to teach in the first place if they're such chicken-shits who clearly don't give a damn about their student's education or ~~~~~~_  


_~~Sorry.~~_  


_~~If I don't hear from you~~_  


_Have a great day._  


_Dean_  


\----  


**_Day Forty_**  


**Dear Dean,**  


**I'm sure that you are just as talented as Benny, just perhaps in different styles of food. After all, burgers and Cajun are two very different things.**  


**I'm going to tour some colleges along the east coast during my Spring Break. I've been accepted to a few, and now I just need to figure out which one would fit me the best.**  


**In actuality, I'm going to see what gifts they give me in their effort to win me over through their material efforts.**  


**It's sure to be pitiful, but hopefully amusing.**  


**I hope your Spring Break is pleasant as well.**

**Enjoy your cleaning and gardening.**  


**Castiel**  


\----  


**_Day Fifty_**  


_Dear Cas,_  


_I know that we're not actually in school right now, but I wanted to keep writing your letters anyway. I'll just have to drop them off once we get back next Monday._  


_Has anyone ever told you that you are sassy ~~as fuck~~ ? ~~I'm kinda in love with~~ ~~I think that~~ ~~You're~~_  


_It's awesome._  


_I knew you'd have a ton of prospects for colleges. Which ones are you visiting? Have any that you're leaning towards? ~~Are they all far away from here?~~_  


_Hope the tours are going well._  


_Dean_  


\--  


_Dear Cas,_  


_Most everyone has gone out of town. It's not too bad, although it can get pretty boring._  


_Fortunately, most of Sammy's friends are gone too, so when I'm not doing work for my mom and helping to tune up the car with my dad, I'm kicking Sam's ~~ass~~ butt at Mario Kart._  


_I am the reigning champion and I can not be stopped._  


_Hope your day is a bit more exciting than mine._  


_Dean_  


\--  


_Dear Cas,_  


_My mom says that touring colleges can be stressful. How are you dealing? Having any luck?_  


_I'm kinda glad I don't have to go through that. I'll most likely just stay here and take classes at the community college._  


_I know, I know. I'm sure you're shocked to hear that someone as dumb as me is planning on going to college. But, I hear that LCC will pretty much accept anyone and I figured, why the hell not?_  


_Dean_  


\--  


_Dear Cas,_  


_I honestly have no clue what you like about gardening. It's not even that hot outside and I'm all sweaty and gross from the work. You ever want to come over and garden with my mom, you're more than welcome to. I'm sure she'd loved to have someone help her who actually knows what the hell they're doing_.  


_Dean_  


\----  


_**Day Fifty-One**_  


**Dear Dean,**  


**I'm not entirely sure why you feel the need to put yourself down like that. You are an intelligent, skilled, handsome man. Surely, you must know this?**  


**The college tours were not as successful as I would have liked them to be.**  


**I have my mother pushing for me to go to Harvard and my Father pushing for Yale. My eldest brother thinks that I should always listen to my Father, while his twin is trying to convince me to drop out entirely. I have an uncle up in New York who wants me to attend there and another cousin over in Boston...**  


**But I'm just tired. Tired of being told what I should be doing and how I should be doing it. Tired of no one caring what my opinion is. Tired of no one listening to see what I want.**  


**My apologies. It was a long week and I'm glad to be back, even if the majority of the school population is not.**  


**Your mother sounds like a wonderful woman. I think I would very much like to meet her one day.**  


**Castiel**  


\----  


**_Day Fifty-Two_**  


_Dear Cas,_  


_Do you mind that I call you Cas? I never actually asked...I just started doing it..._  


_Listen, man, you never need to apologize for ranting. Not to me. Anytime you need me, I'll be here for you._  


_But I think we need to address something very important._  


_You think I'm handsome?_  


_Dean_  


\----  


**_Day Fifty-Three_**  


**Dear Dean,**  


**Surely you know that your physical features are aesthetically pleasing? I mean, you've been with enough people...at least one of them had to have told you!**  


**And I don't mind that you call me Cas. It's certainly a better nickname than "Cassie", which is what Balthazar (my best friend) and Gabriel (my cousin) calls me.**  


**Castiel**  


\----  


**_Day Fifty-Four_**  


_Dear Cas,_  


_Cassie is a terrible nickname. I hereby cast my vote that we abolish it from henceforth!_  


_And, I mean, yeah, I've been with enough people to know that I'm not terrible looking, but you can't really trust what people say when they're trying to get into your pants, so I never knew for sure._  


_And for the record? I think you're ~~fucking hot~~ ~~attractive as hell~~ "aesthetically pleasing" too._  


_Dean_  


\----  


_**Day Fifty-Seven**_  


**Dear Dean,**  


**If you don't mind me asking, why did you sleep with so many people if you can't really trust them? Why didn't you ever settle down with one person? Was there really no one who interested you?**  


**Castiel**  


\----  


**_Day Fifty-Nine_**  


**Dear Dean,**  


**I apologize if I've offended you in any way. I didn't mean to.**  


**Please forgive me.**  


**Castiel**  


\----  


**_Day Sixty_**  


**Dear Dean,**  


**I've heard through the grapevine that you've been out sick this week. That's a relief to know that you haven't been purposefully avoiding me.**  


**You don't have to answer my questions. In fact, perhaps it's just best we forgot about it.**  


**I do hope that you start feeling better soon. School just isn't quite the same without you strutting around the halls.**  


**Castiel**  


\----  


**_Day Sixty-Five_**  


_Dear Castiel,_  


_Let's get one thing straight: I don't strut! I like to think that I have a charming swagger._  


_Man, I swear that was like the flu from hell. It started off with Sammy, and then got me, and worked it's way to my mom. My dad has been sleeping at a hotel the past few nights cause he's been crazy busy at work and doesn't want to get sick, so I've been taking care of my mom._  


_Homework though is gonna be a total bitch nightmare to catch up._  


_To answer your questions from before (no we're NOT going to ignore it, clearly it was important enough for you to ask it in the first place), I like the feel of someone else's warmth next to yours, ya know? It's comforting to lie in bed with someone else and share and experience that makes you both feel good._  


_I never bothered going any further with anyone, cause once you're done, you can tell that something's missing. That connection, that lasting warmth._  


_That's what I really want. I want to find that intimacy with that one person who knows me better than anyone else and who loves me for me. ~~I want y-~~_  


_Anyway, doesn't matter now. My promiscuous days are over._  


_Hey, you like classical music, right? You ever heard of Apocalyptica?_  


_Dean_  


\----  


_**Day Sixty-Six**_  


**Dean!**  


**I'm glad to hear that you're doing better and that you've returned to the school. Although I'm not entirely sure how charming your "swagger" is, I can confidently confirm that you bow legs certainly are delightful to see. :)**  


**I have heard of Apocalyptica. They are certainly talented cellists.**  


**You like hard rock, right?**  


**Cas tiel**  


\----  


**_Day Sixty-Seven_**  


_Cas!_  


_I'm all about those classics. AC/DC, Led Zeppelin, Motorhead. These guys know their stuff._  


_I heard that Def Leppard is doing a show up in Kansas City this summer. Man, I would love to go to that show. But tickets are like crazy expensive. So, instead I'll probably just stay at home and listen to them on my record player._  


_So, you never told me what your favorite book is? Have one? Or are they all just too precious for you._  


_Also, a smiley face? Really?_  


_Dean_  


\----  


_**Day Seventy-One**_  


**Dean,**  


**I'm rather fond of emoticons. I think that they can really add value to a conversation.**  


**I'm currently re-reading 1984 by George Orwell. It is slightly disturbing to read his prediction of what the future would hold, and see many examples of how those predictions have come to pass in our time.**  


**Although you may mock me for it, I really don't know if I can pick a favorite. There are so many good books out there. So many adventures to go on or worlds to get lost in.**  


**Although I do agree that Vonnegut is a talented author. For a favorite, I feel that you picked well.**  


**Castiel**  


\----  


**Day Seventy-Two**  


_Cas_  


_Have you seen the latest Marvel movie yet? It will blow your mind!_  


_(although, all Marvel movies are fantastic, so it really doesn't come as a shock that this one was good as well)_  


_I took Sammy to go see it last night. I highly recommend._  


_Dean_  


\----  


_**Day Seventy-Three**_  


**Dear Dean,**  


**I have to admit, I have yet to see any of the Marvel movies. I'm usually too busy studying or reading. My parents aren't all that fond of movies, so we have very few in our home. I usually don't mind, although it can be embarrassing when someone makes a pop culture reference that I do not understand.**  


**Castiel**  


\----  


**_Day Seventy-Four_**  


_Cas,_  


_You ever have a hankering to be introduced to some of the best movies of all time, you let me know. I'd be more than happy to show ya._  


_Dean_  


\----  


_**Day Seventy-Five**_  


**Dean,**  


**I think I'd like that.**  


**Cas**  


Dean smiled brightly, reigning in his desire to fist pump the air.  


He actually might fucking get a shot.  


He began to gently fold the piece of paper, wanting to preserve it and keep it with the others (not to mention to show it to his mom, who he knew would be excited for him), when a large, dark-colored hand reached forward and pulled the paper out of his grip.  


Dean immediately spun around to face Gordon, who was looking at the letter with mocking on his face.  


"Ooh," Gordon taunted, waving the blue paper in the air for those who had stopped in the hallway to watch the scene, "Wittle Cas has sent a wittle love note to our wittle wee-chester."  


A group of jocks from behind Gordon laughed, but Dean paid them no attention.  


Rather than bothering trying to reason with the bully, Dean shoved Gordon back into the locker, and grabbed the piece of paper out of his hands, wincing internally when the paper got crumpled and a small piece of the edge tore off.  


"Mind your own damn business, Gordon," Dean growled, placing the note in his bag as quickly as he could so it was out of Gordon's reach, planning on going back to it later to see if he could smooth it out.  


"Hey, don't mind me," Gordon replied, holding his hands out in mock defense, despite the fact the he knew that Dean could beat the shit out of him if he wished, "Just passing through. Thought you might want to share is all. That's what you do, isn't it? Hit it, quit it, and share it with the world?"  


Dean gritted his teeth, stepping forward so that his face was right up in Gordon's, "Get the hell out of here before I make you."  


"No need to fight, Dean. Just making pleasant conversation," Gordon smirked.  


"Yeah?" Dean challenged, "Well you can shove your fist up your ass. Now leave."  


Gordon shrugged, seemingly unconcerned as he stepped out of Dean's grip. He began walking down the hall, his posse following close behind him, when he paused.  


He turned around and called down the hall, "I'd watch out if I were you, Castiel. Don't want your name sketched in Dean-o's little black book now, would we?"  


Dean spun around, horrified to see that Castiel was standing at the other end of the hall, clutching his books tight against his chest, his eyes wide as he watched the scene play out in front of him.  


Dean immediately shook his head, taking a step forward, "Cas..."  


Cas turned around and walked out of his sight, weaving in and out of the crowd of people that had formed.  


"Cas, wait!" Dean called out, pressing forward, only to get pushed back by the crowd.  


By the time he made it through, Cas was no where to be seen.  


\----  


_**Day Seventy-Eight**_  


_Dear Cas,_  


_I tried to stop by your house this weekend, but your brother said you weren't home._  


_I just I gotta tell ya, buddy, that shit that Gordon was sprouting? None of that is true._  


_I never once did the kiss and tell thing. ~~I really~~ You gotta believe me._  


_I promise, I didn’t start sending you these letters to get into your pants. ~~I honestly just thought~~_  


_Please talk to me. I'm so sorry._  


_Dean_  


\----  


_**Day Seventy-Nine**_  


_Cas,_  


_I saw you in the hallway today and you turned and walked in the opposite direction (despite the fact that I KNOW your class was the other way)._  


_You gotta know by now that you mean a hell of a lot more to me than some meaningless hook-up. And that's not cause of the whole soulmate thing._  


_Hell, man, you're smart and funny and sexy as hell and you don't put up with my shit and you always try and stand up for others and always made me feel welcome, even though the rest of the world told me there was something wrong with me cause I wear a leather jacket and got high once or twice._  


_You're perfect._  


_I mean sure, you've got your flaws too. You're bossy and spend waaay too much time studying and have never even seen Star wars (I overheard Balthazar...that's just sad man) and you like gardening of all things!_  


_But these are the things that make you perfect._  


_~~I wish~~_  


_I wish that I could go back in time. I really do. But I can't. But if there's any way, anything at all that I can do that will convince you to forgive me? I'll do it._  


_Please, just...write back, Cas. I miss you._  


_Dean_  


\----  


_**Day Eighty**_  


_Dear Cas,_  


_I, uh, I'm gonna assume that your silence and obvious avoiding me in the school halls means that you would prefer that I stopped contacting you. And if that's what you really want, I'll respect that._  


_Graduation is just a few weeks away. If I don't have a chance to talk to you before then, I wish you luck on whatever you decided to do. I hope that you figured out which college YOU wanted to go to. Not your mom or dad or even uncle. Cause it's your life, and you're the one who really matters._  


_Whatever happens, I know you're going to go on and do great things._  


_If you ever decide you want to come back and chat, you know where to find me._  


_I'll be here._  


_And if you decide to let your wings spread and soar across the sky, then I wish only the best things for you. Because if anyone deserves the world, it's you._  


_Take care, Cas._  


_Dean_  


\----  


_**Day Eighty-Five**_  


Dean decided that this time around was less difficult than the time before.  


Sure. he was still pissed as hell at Gordon for messing everything up, but there's nothing else he can do other than slash his tires (which Dean did - and then promptly hid his baby in fear of retaliation).  


But, if this is what Cas wanted, if Cas wanted Dean to stay away, then he would do it.  


He would do anything and everything for Cas, even if it meant hurting himself.  


Dean ignored the shouts and cheers of his classmates all around him, as they all celebrated the fact that they only had a few weeks left of the school year.  


He opened up his locked, his heart falling in disappointment as he realized there was no blue paper waiting for him.  


Despite the heartache, he wouldn't take back those letters for anything. He had them all saved in a notebook in his room and wasn't ashamed to admit that he re-read through them every night before bed.  


He grabbed his book from the top and noticed two long rectangular strips fall inconspicuously to the ground from his locker.  


Dean frowned at the sight, having no clue what the items were and why they were in his locker.  


He bent down and picked them up, flipping them over to read the front carefully.  


His jaw dropped as he realized they were two tickets to go see Def Leppard on July 17 in Kansas City.  


Dean looked around quickly, trying to figure out where these had come from.  


Should he keep them? Were they really for him?  


They were in his locker, after all...  


Dean placed them gently in his textbook, eager to look up some more information about the concert when he got home.  


Who would give him these tickets?  


They had to be expensive as hell.  


Not to mention that there weren't very many people he'd mentioned how bad he wanted to go to this concert to.  


He doubled checked his locker, confirming that there was no additional note or name left along with the tickets.  


He shrugged it off, deciding not to worry about it too much.  


He'd likely find out who gave them to him eventually.  


In the meantime, he needed to decide who he should give the second ticket to.  


His mind immediately jumped straight to Castiel, imagining them together at the concert, dancing among the crowd and singing at the top of their lungs.  


He shook his head to clear his thoughts.  


No.  


Cas would never want to go to a concert with him.  


Maybe he could convince Sammy to go (despite his younger brother's dislike for the hairbands that Dean loved).  


Although he was still bummed out he couldn't talk to Cas, he had an extra spring in his step for the rest of his day.  


\----  


**_Eighty-Six_**  


Dean and Benny stood side-by-side, both heads turned to the side as they tried to make sense of what they were looking at.  


"That's a lot of flowers there, brother," Benny finally said, pressing together his lips to keep his smile off his face.  


"Who the hell'd be sending me all these flowers?" Dean said, stepping forward.  


In front of his locker was at least a dozen bouquets pinned around, every single one of them with Dean's name on them.  


Dean frowned as he leaned forward, inhaling the sweet fragrance of the variety of blossoms.  


"What're ya gonna do with them?" Benny asked curiously.  


Dean shrugged, "Take 'em home, I guess. Give them to my mom. I'm sure she'd like that."  


Benny nodded, agreeing with him, before helping Dean to move the massive hoard of flowers blocking his locker door.  


\--  


It took three trips to bring all the flowers into the house, and once he got there, he was surprised once again.  


"Someone left these for you," his mom said, pointing in the living room where nearly twenty potted plants and flowers were spread throughout the room.  


"Who delivered them?" Dean asked, his eyes wide and unable to really process what he was looking at.  


"That cute little flower shop on 2nd ave," his mom answered.  


"Did they say who they were from?" Dean asked urgently.  


"Nope," his mom replied cheerfully, popping the 'p' at the end, "just that they were for Dean."  


Dean frowned deeper.  


"Looks like you've got a secret admirer," his mom teased.  


"But, I don't want," Dean began.  


His mom hushed him, "Now, help me water all these plants. We don't want them to go to waste now, do we?"  


"No ma'am," Dean replied automatically, his mind still reeling.  


First the tickets, now the flowers?  


And no signature to go along with it.  


Who the hell was doing this?  


And more importantly, why?  


\----  


**_Day Eighty-Seven_**  


He shouldn't have been surprised.  


After all, there had been something left for him at his locker every single day this week so far.  


So why should this Wednesday be any different?  


Dean held the little red flash drive in the palm of his hand, wondering if he even wanted to know what was on it.  


Well, it would have to wait until he got home from school...  


\--  


Dean rushed up to the office where the computer was, closing the door behind him and putting head phones in.  


He couldn't think about anything else the entire day, anxiously eager to delve deep onto the flash drive and see what was waiting on it.  


He put the flash drive into the USB port and clicked on the video file that showed up titled: For Dean.  


Well, at least now he knew for sure it was for him.  


The camera was set up to show a large black grand piano in a spacious room. There were a few moments of silence before someone walked in front of the camera, wringing his hands from nerves and plopped himself down onto the piano bench.  


"Hello Dean."  


"Cas?" Dean said out loud, despite the fact that he knew that Cas couldn't hear him through the tape.  


In the video, Cas shifted in his place, before turning his bright blue eyes to look directly into the camera.  


"I, uh, I'm kind of nervous to play in front of other people. So, I hope that this is okay."  


Dean furrowed his brow, confused, but Cas continued speaking.  


"I, uh, I dedicate this song to, uh, to my soulmate."  


Dean's jaw dropped as Cas turned around on the piano bench, sitting straight up and taking a deep breath, his hands delicately against the keys.  


Cas turned to look into the camera one more time, shooting him a shy smile before he opened his mouth and started singing.  


_"The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting  
Could it be that we have been this way before  
I know you don't think that I am trying  
I know you're wearing thin down to the core,_ "  


Dean leaned forward in his seat, completely captivated by the beautiful sight in front of him.  


Cas' deep gravely voice glided through the notes, as if it was created by the very angel he was named after.  


Cas recaptured Dean's attention when he looked directly into the camera and sang:  


" _But hold your breath  
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you  
Over again  
Don't make me change my mind  
Or I won't live to see another day  
I swear it's true  
Because a boy like you is impossible to find  
You're impossible to find._ "  


Cas' long fingers gracefully played the keys with an ease that Dean was envious of. How was it that Cas was so talented at everything? And how had Dean not known that Cas played the piano?  


His heart ached as he realized there was still so much he didn't know about Cas, and wondered if he would ever have the opportunity to learn.  


" _This is not what I intended  
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart  
You always thought that I was stronger  
I may have failed  
But I have loved you from the start,_ "  


What was he talking about?  


Cas had never failed Dean in anything. It was always Dean failing him.  


He wanted to argue, to put himself inside the video so he could hug that sad smile off of Castiel's face.  


" _Oh, but hold your breath,_ "  


There was a pause in the song, where Cas directed his attention back to the camera, looking straight into the lense. Dean felt like Cas was actually there, like he was actually looking right at him.  


" _Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you  
Over again  
Don't make me change my mind  
Or I won't live to see another day  
I swear it's true  
Because a boy like you is impossible to find  
It's impossible_ "  


The emotion that Cas sang with was real and raw. Dean felt like he was catching a glimpse into Cas' mind through this song.  


But, that couldn't be right.  


Because the song talked about how he was falling in love.  


But, surely, he wasn't talking about Dean!  


" _So breathe in so deep  
Breathe me in  
I'm yours to keep,_ "  


Oh how Dean wished that was true. He would like nothing more than to be with Castiel. To hold him, to breathe him in, to keep him forever.  


" _And hold onto your words  
'Cause talk is cheap  
And remember me tonight,  
when you're asleep,_ "  


Always. He always remembered Cas. Always had him in his thoughts.  


There was never a moment that went by that he didn't think about the blue-eyed boy.  


" _Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you  
Over again  
Don't make me change my mind  
Or I won't live to see another day  
I swear it's true  
Because a boy like you is impossible to find_ ,"  


Cas looked back into the camera, completely ignoring what his hands were doing as he belted out the last few words, almost pleadingly, as though he were really trying to get his message across.  


" _Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you  
Over again  
Don't make me change my mind  
Or I won't live to see another day  
I swear it's true  
Because a boy like you is impossible to find,  
You're impossible to find._ "  


Cas smiled shyly into the camera, letting the last few words sink in, before he reached forward and turned it off.  


Dean stared, his jaw slightly agape as he stared at the now black screen.  


He quickly hit play again, listening to the song a second time.  


Cas said that he dedicated this song to his soulmate.  


To Dean.  


Did that mean...?  


Was he really...?  


And if Cas had left this video for Dean in his locker, did that mean the other gifts were from him as well?  


Even more confused and starting to feel a smidgen of hope in his chest, Dean fell asleep in the office that night, Cas' singing lulling him to sleep.  


\----  


**_Day Eighty-Eight_ **

Cas was nowhere to be found at the school the next day.  


Dean waited by his locker before school started, so he could ask him if he was the one that had left the video in his locker.  


It was obvious Cas had made it, but had he intended Dean to ever see it?  


Perhaps this was something that Cas had created before he ever knew who his soulmate was.  


Before he was disappointed by learning it was Dean.  


The warning bell rang, and then the late bell, and Dean knew he couldn't wait there at his locker any longer. There's no way Cas would be skipping class. Dean must have missed him somehow.  


He grumbled as he entered his class, shooting a hardened look at his teacher, which caused her to falter and not call Dean out for being late.  


He plopped down into his seat in the back of the classroom.  


He'd just have to find Cas during lunch.  


Clear up this whole thing then.  


His brain was scattered, unable to concentrate on anything the teacher was saying or what she was writing on the board.  


It was about halfway through class when the TV screens flickered, and I Wanna Know What Love Is played over the intercoms.  


Dean blinked once.  


Then twice.  


Then once again.  


On the screen, a message was showing bright and clear:  


" **Dean Winchester, You want to know what love is? Meet me by the flagpole and I'll show you**."  


Dean immediately pushed out of his chair, ignoring the teacher's complaints once again and raced out of the room.  


He had no idea if it really was Castiel who had written the message on the screen, but damn if he wasn't going to try and find out.  


Dean ran all the way to the front of the school, pushing past the hoards of students who had left their classrooms in excitement, rushing behind him so they could see the show.  


Dean stopped as soon as he caught sight of the flagpole, his heart pounding with nerves.  


Cas stood directly next to it, wringing his hands together and looking straight at the ground.  


Dean pushed himself to continue forward, and Cas looked up, his gaze interlocked deeply with Dean's.  


When they were standing directly in front of each other, Cas' eyes shifted from his face, looking nervously around at the crowd that had eagerly gather around them.  


"That's a lot of people," Cas muttered, his face paling and eyes widening.  


Wanting to distract Cas so he didn't look so nervous and unsure of himself, Dean blurted out, "You gave me a video."  


The distraction worked as Cas turned back to Dean, completely blocking out all other distractions and putting his entire focused into their conversation, "I did."  


"And you gave me the concert tickets, and the flowers," Dean guessed, hoping to receive a confirmation.  


He was relieved when Cas nodded his head in response, "I did."  


"Why?" Dean asked simply.  


Why had Cas gone through the trouble? All of these things had to be crazy expensive in the first place, not to mention he and Cas weren't exactly talking right now because of his stupid destructive behavior.  


Cas turned his head to the side, his eyes squinting in confusion, "Did you not watch the video?"  


Dean quickly nodded his head in reassurance, "No, I mean, yeah. I, uh, I did watch it."  


Nearly a hundred times, but Cas didn't need to know that.  


Cas frowned, "Then I thought it would be quite obvious why I was doing this."  


"I know you're mimicking me from back in February, when I …"  


Dean trailed off, wincing at the memory of Cas completely rejecting him.  


Cas smiled, holding up one finger, "Tickets to a show."  


Dean shook his head, "I got you movie tickets, not to a fucking awesome concert."  


Cas ignored him and held up a second finger, "Flowers at your locker."  


"And at my home," Dean added, not sure if he should be amused or if he should run like hell, still waiting for the other shoe to drop, "My mom thanks you, by the way. She's already started planting most of the flowers in her garden."  


"I thought she might like that," Cas answered happily, before holding up his third finger.  


Dean interjected before Cas could speak, "The third thing I did was show up at your house at the middle of the night."  


Cas nodded, "Yes, I'm sorry I couldn't do that one. But, there's no way I could have snuck out without my parents knowing, and I didn't particularly want to get into any trouble, so I skipped that one."  


He held up a fourth finger before continuing, "Dedicating and singing a song to you."  


"And you meant it?" Dean asked timidly, barely able to contain his beating heart.  


"Every word," Cas confirmed seriously.  


He wasn't sure how it was possible, but his heart thumped even harder in his chest, and he was sure it would push right out.  


Listening to Cas, the words he was saying, they couldn't be true...right?  


Cas held up his fifth finger on his right hand and smiled sadly at Dean, "Unfortunately, I didn't give you a chance to actually go through with your last one. But, I know if had something to do with hacking into the computer systems to give instructions for me to meet you here, and then I assume you were going to give me some big great speech that followed in asking me out on a date?"  


Dean nodded dumbly, his mouth dry as Cas stepped forward.  


"Dean," Cas started, a shy smile gracing his lips, "I've always dreamed about when and how I would meet my soulmate. I thought he would come and sweep me off my feet. And when I first met you, several years ago, you did just that. I never told you I knew, because I was scared. Scared I wouldn't be good enough for you. Scared you might not want me in return."  


He took a deep breath, "When you found out, I panicked and I reacted badly. I let that fear of the unknown control me. I didn't take the chance to stop and breathe, or to listen to what you were trying to tell me.  


"When you started sending me the notes, I was confused. I couldn't figure out why you were sending them, what you got out of it. But, with every note you wrote, I fell just a little bit more in love. Not with my ideal soulmate, but with you.  


"In one of your notes, you promised that you would always be there to listen to me. And I realized that I had done a terrible job of doing the same with you."  


Cas stepped back, holding out his arms to the side, showing off his whole body for Dean, "Well, here I am. I'm sorry it took so long, but I'm ready. I'm still scared as hell, but I'm ready to listen. Ready to get to know you better. I'm just ready to be with you."  


He stepped forward again, grabbing Dean's hand and cupping it between his own.  


Dean let a laugh that was stuck in his chest, bubble out, still unsure how any of this was real.  


"Dean Winchester," Cas spoke, briefly biting his lip before smiling nervously, "Would you please go on a date with me?"  


Dean laughed again, bending forward to place his forehead against Castiel's, "There's nothing I would like more."  


Cas broke out into a big smile, sighing in relief, "That's good. I was worried I missed my chance."  


Dean's smile grew just as big as his soulmate's, "Never. You'll never miss a chance with me."  


Dean stepped forward, ignoring the hoots and hollers of their audience, watching the scene unfold.  


"If it's alright," Dean spoke softly, reaching his hand up to glide the pad of his thumb along Cas' jaw, "I'd like to kiss you now."  


Cas leaned in to Dean's touch, closing his eyes and humming happily.  


He opened his eyes, looking through his lashes and answered, "I think I'd like that."  


Dean bent forward, butterflies fluttering happily in his stomach as his lips pressed gently against Castiel's chapped pink ones.  


And in that moment he knew: this was it.  


Cas was it for him.  


The realization that he finally had his soulmate, and that his soulmate was Cas, pushed him to press him lips harder onto Castiel's.  


He wrapped his arms tightly around him, ignoring everything else around them, and decided that he would never let go. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please feel free to leave a comment or kudo. I sincerely love every kudo and comment I get and enjoy hearing from all of you.
> 
> If you're interested, check me out on tumblr: [firefur tumblr](http://firefur.tumblr.com/)! I'd love to hear from you.


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